BIRTH STORIES

“I decided that if I were to get pregnant in Hawaii that I definitely wanted a home birth and to have it with Dr. Lori's care and support. I've heard from friends and the birth community about her and after meeting her at a seminar I instantly felt that she was the right fit for me. She had all the qualities I look for in a care provider; warm, friendly, strong, compassionate, informative, confident, and comfortable. I found out I was pregnant with our third baby! I was so excited to try this new approach outside of the conventional medical system, to trust fully in nature and to follow my feelings of the kind of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experience me and my baby deserve. We loved going to Dr. Lori's beautiful location in North Shore for the prenatal care visits, that was the highlight of the month for our family because it always ended in getting shaved ice after. I never felt rushed and she made sure to not just check on the baby, but also on me as a mother and human. Every appointment reaffirmed to me that we made the right choice in choosing her. I met Dr. Merci and we all had the time to get to know each other, connect, and build a trusting relationship before birthing. This to me was so important to the overall home birth experience, to have women by my side who support me during this amazing journey to adding another baby into our family. They provided me a safe space to share all my thoughts and feelings during all the stages of growth during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum; the uncomfortable, emotional, and wild. These moments I will cherish and remember to share with my baby girl Airen when she's older. To teach her how to surround herself with wise women who trust and respect nature and you, who are confident in themselves and your abilities, support you when needed and also to give you space when you need it makes the whole experience enjoyable and worth it. My hope is that more women consciously seek out the kind of support people like Dr. Lori and Dr. Merci provide mothers during this transformative time in their lives. I am so happy that I've had the homebirth experience that I knew I could have. I envisioned it to be powerful and intense yet calm and peaceful, and I got just that. I birthed by daughter in the birthing pool and that moment she made it out of my womb to the world is something that will always be etched in my memory. I am so grateful to have had Dr. Lori and Dr. Merci with us, thank you both for always sharing your energy and time with me whenever I needed it.”

“When I think back on the birth of my son, I remember something that a la‘au practitioner told me days before… she said that my birth will be unexpected, and I will need to reach out to a friend.  She was completely right.  One of the la‘au I decided to use was kauna‘oa.  The gathering of the kauana‘oa was completely unexpected, and it was actually pretty easy.  Many times kauna‘oa can be tangled with particles from the host plant, or dead pieces, but this was pretty clean, and my husband was able to gather it pretty easily.  Love said that kauna‘oa is magical, it is like a kahuna or an elder.  She said that the process often tells us things about our birth. 

I woke up at 3am. with braxton hicks as I had for the past 4 nights.  My midwife told me to listen to my body… she said maybe I am hungry, or maybe that’s when my labor will start.  As I laid there, I did listen to my body and it was hungry.  So I got up and ate a banana and drank a chocolate protein shake.  I laid back down when a half hour later I had a contraction. I remember asking myself if it was the real deal or not… I was trying to contain my excitement, but also started thinking about the things that needed to be done.  At 4:00a.m. I was sitting up and my husband called our midwife, Dr. Lori as well as our birth photographer, Pekuna.  I was instantly in active labor with contractions about 4-5 minutes apart.  I laid in bed in between as long as I could until I knew it was time to get up and start moving around.  Maintaining an upright position was instinctive, and I was still pretty clear headed.  Infact I remember talking to my husband in between contractions about what our plans were for when our kids woke up... I was starting to worry about what to do when they need to eat breakfast and get ready for school.  I had expected that it would be at least 5 hours before the baby arrived. My husband reassured me that everything would be okay and that I didn’t need to worry about it. Eventually I had to ask him to hide the clock because I found myself monitoring my labor and knew that I wouldn’t progress if I was keeping track.  

He was really trying his best to anticipate what I would need…. He fed me papaya and made sure I drank my raspberry vitamin C water.  When the surges came, I focused on breathing through it and coped in various ways such as  pacing the room for a bit, did some circles on the stability ball, some slow dancing together, and had my husband do some hip squeezes. 

At some point I was feeling like it progressed to intense really quick, and I needed to use the bathroom.  My midwife still was not there and my tub still wasn’t set up.  I know my husband was torn… he thought that the midwife would be there to set up the pool, but it was going so quickly, and I needed him so he couldn’t exactly leave my side too long.

As the surges intensified I really need to go inward and channel my energy on my breathing and purpose for the moment.  Every contraction required my complete focus and would bring me closer to my baby.  One of the analogies that is helpful for me when I think about giving birth is crossing the Ka’iwi channel.  Long distance paddling reminds me of birth in the sense that the surges or contractions represent the segments that you are in the canoe… you are paddling so intently with each stroke…. Being one with your breath, being one with the ocean, the paddle, and your sisters in the canoe, and you exert every last bit of energy up to your last hut, hoe because you know that a water change is coming up and you will be able to rest, hydrate, and refeed…. The water change reminds me of the small breaks in between the contractions. 

By this point, my breaks have shortened, and I am in a state of confusion… I am not sure what I want or need.  This is usually a sign of transition, although I hadn’t realized it yet because it seemed way too soon… my midwife still was not there. I needed a change in my laboring position… I sat on the toilet, and that was not it.  One of my contractions had been so intense, I remember thinking this exact thought to myself, “this better be a boy because I don’t think I can do this again….”

There it was…. Self doubt… and I knew in that moment that I had come to the point where the experience of bringing life into the world was no longer my doing alone… the only way possible for this to continue was by the blessings and interventions of our higher powers and ancestors… I believe wholeheartedly that birth is a spiritual experience.  From that point on with every contraction I called out to Akua…. To me though Akua wasn’t just one god in this experience… i believe it was any and many female spiritual beings… Haumea, Mother Mary…. all of my female ancestors who ever birthed… for without all of those women, I would not exist, and I would not have this blessed gift of bringing life into the world with love.

The breaks were barely existing and I could hardly catch my breath in between.  I told my husband I needed water…. I really wanted the birth tub so badly, but it was not set up. So i got in the shower and my husband sprayed water on me.  I could feel intense pressure in my rectum and with the next contraction my body wanted to push, and I yelled out, “the baby!”

My instincts told me that the baby was ready, but my midwife wasn’t there, and then I had a moment of self doubt again… doubting whether I am supposed to push or if I should wait til she arrived to check my dialation. I said, “the baby is coming.” and my husband dropped to the ground to get ready to catch him…. I squeezed my legs together and quickly asserted, “no, no I want the tub”… I looked at him and Pekuna, “how long will it take to set it up” 

Bless Pekuna’s heart… she was the friend that I needed to reach out to… she carried the pool over from the next room… got the hose hooked up and into the pool and water on.

By that point my legs were shaking… and I remembered one of my birth mantras…   “My baby and I are working harmoniously together.  We are grateful for this powerful experience.”  My urges to push were my son telling me that he was ready and there was no waiting for the midwife.

Pekuna and my husband helped me down the bathroom stairs and into the tub.  There was barely any water, but just the little bit gave me a moment to breath. The water literally gave me life… wai ola… It was just what I needed to gather my energy for the pushing. 

When I felt the next contraction coming, I got on my needs and braced myself… the pressure on my rectum was too intense that it was distracting me from pushing… thank goodness Pekuna was there to recommend getting a washcloth for my husband to counter the pressure.  My husband reassured me that he was ready when I was.  He used the washcloth to counter the pressure, and on my next contraction I pushed as hard and long as I could, channeling my energy to my vagina and visualizing his head coming out.  It was such a relief when I felt his head pop out… then I had a moment to breath. His head was just there… waiting… and I waited until my next contraction, gave a push and felt his arms and legs slide out… it was amazing!

My midwife was there to help untangle the cord that was wrapped around his body a little… I swung my legs around and there he was on my chest… my calm, peaceful, sunrise baby boy…. Kamanaokalahiki… born at 6:47a.m. with the rising sun.”

- Mama Donna Marie Kaleihomaimekealoha Bareng